crazylouiiiise

Sean Bean has been cast as Lord Eddard Stark in HBO's filmed version of George R.R. Martin's book  "A game of thrones"! There's no way I can hold my enthusiasm, I'm so thrilled! It'll be very hard to wait for the film to come out oh my god oh my god oh my god!

What did I do today I ask you? I drew a Drag Queen Dwarf. Yes yesss my preciouss we dids it. Of course it's crap (what else? said with George's voice). But very fun to draw. Haven't I been wondrously productive today?
Of course this drawing and this post are dedicated to my dear insane friend Cyanure (she'll know why) and to Sir Ian McKellen* whom I'm madly in love with (do we say it like that? It's 1 am I'm losing my English).

* And now comes the day of The Queen

Ian if you read me: will you be my personal Queen?

So I am Crazy. With a big C. The less obvious Craziness is, in my opinion, the most profound one.
And technically tonight I'm drunk too. Tired of being penniless, with a boyfriend who expects too much of me and a suicidal friend who pesters me daily with messages and phone calls as if I were his personal nurse although we know each other for barely four months, I've kind of broken down tonight. The funny thing is, both my boyfriend and my suicidal friend have entered yesterday the same mental hospital I was in four months ago, and we all met each other for the first time there. I came there to try to end a toxic relationship with a Muslim man who managed to convert me although I didn't believe a word of his religion (I'm a die-hard atheist/agnostic). I nearly ended wearing the hijab, me, a convinced feminist. (Well at least I managed escaping his grip and becoming an apostate yay me.)
So this is the story of my life: an endless fight for freedom and independence, against a self-destructive self (can we really say that?)
What experience taught me:
- it's when you're positively sure to control everything that you're the most likely to fall.
- intelligence has nothing to do with the way you manage your life: all is about feelings and how you come to terms with them.
- trying to be perfect leads you to certain failure.
- you're the only one living your life, so you're the only one responsible for it. Best try to make the most of it and think of your first.
- the world being mad, it's a proof of good health and resistance being insane.
- I'm not likely to become less crazy with age, on the contrary, so let's assume it.

Life is an endless fight but I looove it nonetheless. And for me its beauty reveals itself the best when you've understood there's absolutely no purpose to it. Live it fully and be content the day you die.

Cheers, a crazy drunken bitch called Louise